Allergy Foodie

An inspiring story of how one young teen is raising hundreds of pounds of allergy-friendly foods for those in need…

I admit – I am a big time Rocker Mom hack! What does that even mean? Well, let me put it this way… if one were to put an orangutan, a donkey and me in a karaoke bar – I am the one likely to get thrown out for being pitifully tone deaf.  But, my bashful young son who is now all of 13 found his inner mojo when he got behind the drums at the School of Rock at age 7. And since then ‘me’ – the dutiful mom tags along to every class and tries to put on an intelligent expression when the kids and parents start talking rock music slang – fills, flams, rudiments, rolls 😉

The real bonus for me has been the fantastic friends I have found in the parents at the school. One mom, in particular, is especially close to my heart – Melany and I bonded over food talk, travel etc. and were soon Facebook pals. Our kids both in the same grade started off as little tykes on the Rock 101 ensemble – her Emily (young Ms. Em) on the keyboard and my Arjun on the drums.

One day, Melany’s post on Facebook caught my eye – Emily was raising ‘Allergy Friendly’ food donations for a local food bank. Of course, we donated to a cause so close to our hearts, but I was also very intrigued.

Millennials and Gen Z kids are often categorized as a self-absorbed, entitled lot but I personally have found them to be highly socially conscious, action-oriented and hard working. Despite being a caregiver to an allergic child, I had just vaguely wondered about how people with lesser affordability dealt with food allergies – let’s admit…allergy friendly foods do burn a hole in our pockets!! And here was a 13-year-old trying to collect nutritious allergy friendly foods for those who could not afford it – really?! I had to know what had motivated her and reached out to Melany asking if I could chat with Emily – ‘An interview with young Ms. Em’ if you will.

On a beautiful cold Spring Sunday morning, mom and daughter asked me to meet them at a local gym, Curves – yes, on a ‘Sunday’ morning this young teen was up and about working for her cause. Before I go ahead with my story, I have to tell you about my lovely Ms. Em – tall, slim and graceful with large doe eyes – her funky sense of style has always caught my eye. At School of Rock, she started off on the keyboard and today she is a vocalist too. At school – a sincere student, an athlete, and a dedicated girl scout. But, what wins my heart is her gracious, polite and respectful demeanor whenever I see her. For that – I credit her parents too.

On with my story – I see young Ms. Em setting up a food collection box at Curves – “Safe Foods 4 All”. Apparently, Emily had talked to the local Curves owner and convinced her that ‘Allergy Friendly’ Foods are a valuable donation to the local food bank, Fish Inc.

I absolutely loved the entire display – Emily had made sure that there was a short write-up which explained what allergy-friendly and gluten-free meant and had a list of food items that fell in the ‘safe’ category. She also had put some sample boxes on display, so people could visually instinctively understand. And, a short note about herself and the food bank she was supporting.

Finally, after setting up the display young Ms. Em was ready to sit down with me over waffles and a chat about her journey raising allergy-friendly food donations.

Emily starts hesitantly – her motivation…she had grown up seeing her mom suffer from food allergies and sensitivities. So, when she had to think of a sustainable project for her ‘Girl Scout Silver Award’ she quite simply wanted to do something for food allergy sufferers who could not easily afford allergy-friendly products. I love how lucidly kids think…they see an issue and immediately try to solve it the way they know how!

She came up with a game plan with her parents:

1. Individual Contributions: Raise donations from individuals like talking to small business owners and setting up food collection boxes like at Curves, School of Rock and harnessing social media to raise contributions.
2. Volume Contribution: Establish a long-term source for bulk contributions.  To achieve that, Emily’s parents took her to the Gluten Free & Allergy Friendly Expo in NJ. Mom Melany says her daughter is shy, but it takes tremendous self-confidence for a young girl to walk up to those corporate big-wigs and make a case. This young powerhouse visited every stall and talked to them about making a donation and managed to convince a few.

Em’s next step was to google up a list of food banks/soup kitchens/churches in her neighborhood and call each one of them to see if they had seen a need for Allergy-Friendly & Gluten-Free (AF&GF) foods. Her search led to Fish Inc. – a volunteer organization that among other programs runs a Food Bank for the needy. Food packages are tailored to meet the special dietary needs of the individual family. Fish Inc. welcomed Emily’s idea of Allergy Friendly food contribution.

Young Em’s beautiful eyes grew misty as she recounted her first visit to Fish Inc. – ‘It made me so sad to see the long line of people waiting for their food.’ I found myself getting choked up as I listened to this young girl having so much empathy and ability to put together an action plan – you inspire me, young lady. You are my super-girl…

The results of her effort are staggering:

• A buy-in with ‘THREE’ leading allergy friendly companies
• 21 cases of SunButter Jars in 4 varieties including reduced sugar
• 1500 SunButter cups
• 171 Pounds food collected through a partnership with Curves of Greenbrook, NJ and its members
• A total of 700 Pounds of Allergy-Friendly food as of September 2018
• A commitment from a major Allergy Friendly food company to ensure supplies in the long-term

As Fyodor Dostovesky said, ‘The soul is healed by being with children’ – after the chat with Emily, I stepped out into the crisp morning sunshine ready to make a difference in the world.

“Somewhere inside all of us is the power to change the world” – Roald Dahl in Matilda.

If you want to make a contribution contact Emily at SafeFoods4AllNJ@gmail.com

“Let me love you a little more before you’re not little anymore” – that says it all about my state of mind as my little one celebrates his 12^th birthday!

My dad often jokes, ‘Eat to live, live not to eat.’ but I love how we can express our love through food. Dishing out Allergy-Friendly/ Arjun-Friendly fun foods gives me ultimate joy especially on his special day so, every meal on his birthday is carefully thought through…

Needless to say, by the end of the day, mommy felt like this…

So the big family dinner was at Houlihans – a nice steak dinner which he loves but mommy still doesn’t know how to make!

I often hear how sons are not as caring as daughters. There must be some truth to it since generalizations exist for a reason but so far, I have not had a reason to generalize – he is the first one to notice the break in my voice even on the phone or the beginning of a tear when I am sad and my days are replete with hugs and ‘I love you mommy’ moments. ‘Yes, I gave you life but really you gave me mine…’ 

I wonder if my boy’s personality has been shaped by his food allergies and the constant fear he has learnt to live in as a result. He is still a shy, hesitant, wary and quiet kid but then that may just be his personality – after all, his parents were not gregarious at that age either and look at us now 😛 I can see his confidence slowly but surely emerging as he made his own choices in middle school this year. His drums teacher at School of Rock has just managed to push him to the next level and he has found a joy in playing the guitar. But, his favorite thing to do still is art – he loves sketching and his dream came true over Fall when he learnt to draw his favorite Super heroes from a well-known cartoonist. Aah the joy when he could draw Spiderman hanging upside down from a skyscraper on a dark night against the New York skyline! However, the biggest surprise this year has been his new found joy in ‘reading’ – that kid who would find every excuse in the book to avoid reading now gets yelled at every night to stop reading and hit the sack 😀 Thank you to his dedicated teachers and the amazing Ms Rowling!

An update on his allergies – the last few years hasn’t brought about significant change in his list of allergies. He continues to be allergic to all tree nuts, peanuts, shell fish, sesame, chick peas (garbanzo beans), poppy seeds and he can still not tolerate milk, eggs or soy if it is not processed. However, he can eat larger quantities of processed dairy like cheese, yogurt, curd, kefir and ice cream than he could even a year back. He is ecstatic about that since those are the fun forms of milk anyways! He can eat eggs in very small quantities but only in cooked products like pancakes, waffles, cakes and cookies. However, we have to be careful and mostly avoid products with eggs. The one big change has been soy. Until a year back soybean oil and soy lecithin were the only forms in which he could tolerate soy but now he can eat small quantities of processed soy like tofu but he still cannot drink soy milk. Luckily, he doesn’t really care much for soy but it is one less food item we have to be paranoid about!

One of the truly special moments of the past year was when we celebrated his thread ceremony. This ceremony is a centuries old Hindu custom from a time when once children were old enough to start formal education they were sent off to a boarding school. Before the tearful send off, the parents organized a huge party for family and friends to wish the child well. Of course, kids today don’t go away to boarding school but the celebration with friends and family still continues to mark the child’s journey towards becoming a young adult. We decided to celebrate it in India so his paternal and maternal grandparents could easily be a part of this festive occasion without having to endure a long plane journey in their advanced years. The highlight of this event – obviously, that it was completely allergy friendly.  The chef and I went back and forth for months before the event to ensure Arjun could partake of anything without fear – it was to celebrate him so why have food he could not eat!. Fish, Shell Fish and eggs was automatically taken care of since the menu was entirely vegetarian. Soy is not a part of Indian cuisine so that was not an issue either. However, it was a huge challenge avoiding chick peas, Bengal gram, sesame seeds and nuts which is an integral part of a traditional festive South Indian meal. The chef and his team managed it with aplomb and the food was so delicious that even after a year many of our guests mention it. I will write more about it in a separate post.

This was also a year of huge learning and narrow escapes. Sometimes food allergic families relax; forgetting how dangerous food allergies can be just because nothing serious has happened in a while.  Like the time when on a casual summer stroll in New York City, I almost gave a French macaron (and why are French macaron stores popping up all over ?!) to my son assuming the cookies were made of white wheat flour. Fortunately, it struck me to ask the sales girl in the nick of time and to my horror realized that that it is made almost entirely using almond flour. Almond is the one tree nut that Arjun is deathly allergic to. These near escapes have taught Arjun to double check everything even if mom has okayed it. The latest learning was on his 12th Birthday when we were at his birthday dinner outing and I accidentally gave him a piece of lavash bread with sesame seeds on it. But, the seeds did not escape his keen eyes.

It is a joy to see the sincere, caring and curious human being he is growing up to be. But, above all I am so proud that he does not take things for granted and has taken on the responsibility of his welfare in his own hands. My goal 11.5 years back when he was first diagnosed with food allergies was to ‘enable’ him because I cannot always be around to keep him safe and every single day, I can see him making giant strides towards that ultimate goal!

‘If I could keep you little, I’d keep you close to me.

But then I’d miss you growing into who you’re meant to be!’

Happy Birthday my little one!